The Weekend Just Got Worse

So I thought Darrell's car accident made the weekend a downer. Then I went to work on Sunday and went to my parents for Father's Day dinner after. And there the weekend got worse. I found out that I'd been denied my loan for school because I couldn't get a cosigner. Both my parents had been turned down as cosigners as my dad had cosigned my previous two. Yeah. The bank said he had too much debt to allow him to cosign my loan. Despite the fact that the loans are in my name. Make sense of that. So needless to say Sunday night was a very emotional one full of lots of tears on my part and several near hyperventilations. All after Darrell and I got home of course. I didn't want to let go and get all emotional in front of my parents because they already felt so bad and it's not their fault. Sunday was a late night and definitely a bad one.

Now the question is what will I do for school? I would give anything to go back to Winona, but I don't know if I'll be able to. Correction, I could if I chose too, as Darrell keeps pointing out to me. There are loans out there that I can get without a cosigner, it'll just cost me a lot more on the back end as I'll have a much higher interest rate. I have to make a decision as to where I'll be going to school in the fall. Will I go back to Winona? Or will I transfer to a school up here at home? I'm not sure yet and I can't begin to describe how stressed I am over the decision. Darrell and my parents said they'll support me no matter what, but I'm still scared to make the wrong choice. What am I going to do?

Winona:
Pros:
+ Already have 2 years invested
+ On the track for the Nursing Program
+ Already enrolled and registered
+ It's a 4 year RN degree
+ Have all but 2 of my generals finished
+ All my friends go here
+ My first choice
Cons:
+ Most expensive tuition
+ Don't know how long it'll take to into the Nursing Program
+ Would have to find a job
+ Living expenses in addition to tuition: rent, food, gas, etc.
+ Would have to take out additional loans to pay for it

Anoka-Ramsey:
Pros:
+ Cheap. My Stafford loans would cover the whole year
+ Less living expenses since I can live at home or with Darrell
+ Close to home
+ Already have a job in the cities
+ Easier to get into the nursing program
Cons:
+ Can get my RN (2 year), but I have to get my LPN first
+ Would have to buy my own laptop
+ Would have to take placement testing
+Possibly have to repeat classes because of AR's nursing program
+Would have to apply and register
+ Not sure how many of my generals would transfer.
+ Would mean another 4 years of school. (2 to get my LPN, and 2 to get my RN)

Anoka Tech:
Pros:
+ Cheap. My Stafford loans would cover the whole year
+ Less living expenses since I can live at home or with Darrell
+ Close to home
+ Already have a job in the cities
+ Easier to get into the nursing program
Cons:
+ LPN only
+ Non-transferable credits
+ Would have to buy my own laptop
+ Would have to take placement testing
+Possibly have to repeat classes because of differences in nursing programs
+Would have to apply and register
+ Not sure how many of my generals would transfer.

I feel like choosing a school up here is the smarter, more practical choice, but it's so hard to make a decision. It would be so hard to let go of my dream of graduating from Winona. Not to mention that I'd totally have to change how I think about college. It would no longer be something that I go away to during the week. It wouldn't be living with my friends and hanging out with the gang in the evenings. But I don't want to close the door on a school up here because of the upside to staying in the cities would be. Yes, it would mean much more school, but if I stay here, I'll get my LPN first and then I could be working at a really job, not my minimum wage, barely there job at K-Mart while I worked toward my RN.

I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders and everyone around me is just standing there, watching to see what I'll do.

I'll be sure to write when I make a decision.